Indirect Openers: How To Start a Conversation With a Woman (A Beginner’s Guide)

Starting a conversation with an attractive woman can make any man a nervous wreck if he doesn’t know any conversation starters, icebreakers, or Indirect Openers. Leaving a good impression is important, but you also don’t want to come off as aggressive, say the wrong thing, be boring, or worse, come off as creepy. However, starting and maintaining a conversation is a crucial social skill that can help in connecting and building relationships. The use of an indirect opener is one strategy that may be beneficial in these circumstances.

What Are Indirect Openers?

Indirect openers are statements or questions that are not particularly romantic or sexual in nature, but rather designed to start up a conversation in an interesting manner by appealing to her curiosity. In contrast to direct openers, which are more straightforward and sensual, indirect openers allow you to initiate a conversation without pressing the woman to make an instant romantic decision about you.

It’s a great way to begin a conversation with a woman since you can assess her interest level and reaction before moving on to more romantic topics. You can achieve this by striking up a discussion with the person by you asking a unique, fun, curiosity inducing question or perhaps a funny observation, joke or quip to open the discussion. This is a useful tactic for assessing interest in a potential conversation.

Indirect Openers To Start A Conversation

You can express your interest in the other person using these openers without being overly upfront or aggressive. As a result, the conversation may appear more relaxed and casual. The following are a few examples of indirect openers:

  1. Make an observation.  This opener enables you to start a discussion without giving the impression that you’re hitting on the woman or putting pressure on her to answer. For instance, “It looks like you’re a fan of that band. I saw them in concert last year and they were wonderful.”
  2. Ask for help or advice.  Another indirect opener is to ask for help or advice. As an idea, you could start a discussion by asking, “Do you have any recommendations for a great coffee shop around here? I’m new to the area and I’m currently looking for a place to study.” This conversation starter demonstrates your respect for the woman’s knowledge and opinion.
  3. Comment on something you have in common. To make a comment on something you have in common with someone, first state what you have in common, and then give your opinion or feelings. You may say, for instance, “I can’t believe we both adore the same sports team! It’s so amazing to find someone who shares my passion for [team name],” if you are both fans of the same sports team.
  4. Comment on something the person is wearing. For example, you could say something like “I noticed that you’re wearing a Friends t-shirt. I’m a huge fan of the series. Do you have like friends, too?” This opener allows you to initiate a conversation while showing that you have a shared interest, which can help build rapport and establish common ground.

Other Examples of Indirect Openers


Indirect Openers

  1. Share an interesting fact or story. “Did you know that the average person spends six months of their life waiting on hold?”
  2. Use a mutual connection. If you have a mutual connection, you can use that as a way to start a conversation. For example, you might mention that you know someone in common or that you have heard good things about the person.
  3. Ask a question. Try asking the person a question about themselves or something they are interested in. This can be a good way to show that you are interested in getting to know them and finding out more about their interests.
  4. Ask for directions or suggestions for nearby sights and events.
  5. Ask about a book, movie, or TV show recommendation.
  6. Make a joke or comment on a situation or experience that everyone can relate to.

Advantages Of Using Indirect Openers

  1. Non-threatening.  You can express interest in the other person without being overly direct or aggressive by using an indirect technique. The other person may feel more at ease and willing to communicate with you as a result.
  2. Puts another person at ease. By not putting pressure on them to respond or engage with you, an indirect approach helps the other person feel more at ease. This could be quite helpful when you don’t know the other person well. If you are attempting to strike up a discussion with someone who may be shy this can also be useful.
  3. Flexible.  An indirect method is a flexible technique for starting conversations and building connections. It can be used in a variety of situations and circumstances. Since you never know what kind of conversation will arise or what the other person may be interested in, this can be very helpful when dating.
  4. Builds connection. You can build relationships with people by taking an indirect approach and demonstrating your interest in them and their perspectives. This might encourage a more joyful and enjoyable conversation, which might lead to a greater connection with the other person.


Keep in mind that you can talk to a woman using indirect openers. For some people, one indirect opener works better compared to the other.  Finding the ideal indirect opener for each circumstance is essential because each circumstance is unique.  So you need to find a style that appeals to your sense of authenticity and comfort. When employing indirect openers, it’s important to respect a woman’s limits and boundaries. You should also be ready for rejection as she can decide not to engage in a conversation with you.

In conclusion, indirect openers are a helpful technique for guys who wish to approach a woman in a calm, non-threatening manner and start a conversation. Depending on the circumstance and your personal style, you can employ a variety of indirect openers. You may help to ease everyone else and create a more upbeat and laid-back environment by using an indirect opener. Therefore, if you want to start a discussion, it is always preferable to utilize an indirect opener rather than a direct one.

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