If you’re an Asian male, you’re mostly used to dating women of your own race. However, in the modern age of dating in 2022, you know that you want to keep your options open for a romantic partner regardless of her background and race. So you’re open to interracial dating, but you don’t know where to begin? Well, let me tell you that Asian men dating black women (AMBW) can be one of the most rewarding of all interracial relationships and even marriage.
Now I get it. You’ve probably never thought of dating non-Asian women, but just hear me out. Because in this article, I’m about to tell you something eye-opening. I’m about to show you how interracial dating between Asian men and Black women is becoming more mainstream because we actually have MORE in common as an AMBW couple than not.
That’s because Asian men and Black women share a common cause in the stereotypes, discrimination and sexualized racism we both face in the dating market. And most importantly, I’m going to go over some reasons why we need to at least consider seeing Black women as potential partners.
See, if you’re an Asian male, you likely know what it feels like to be negatively targeted in American society. You’re likely very familiar with the fact that you’re stereotyped by the mainstream media as “unattractive” and “undesirable” (i.e. subhuman).
And unfortunately statistics show that racism has a real world effect in how people treat us. Even though Asian-American men are the most well-off in the Western world and earn on average 117% more than White men, we’re still the least desirable:
- We’re emasculated and ridiculed by the media
- We’re told on a regular basis that we’re weak and lack confidence
- We’re always told that no woman would touch us with a 10ft pole
- And when COVID first broke out, the number of physical attacks towards Asian-Americans skyrocketed
My guess is you’re sick of facing discrimination for being an Asian man. But here’s the thing, Black women are also discriminated against. And because of this, there are massive gaps in the intermarriage rates between Black men and Black women (similar to the massive gaps in intermarriage between Asian men and Asian women).
Black males, like Asian women, have higher intermarriage rates than their respective gender opposite. In fact, 24% of all black men married interracially, but Black women only interracially married at 12%. That’s extremely similar to how often Asian women will intermarry (36%) compared to Asian men (21%).
Like many Asian men, Black women are also unfairly stereotyped. Like us, many (not all) African American women struggle with internalized racism as well as society’s discrimination.
They’re shown on TV as “loud” and “sassy” than women of other races. Hollywood relegates Black women to roles as prostitutes, sidekicks, or more prone to violence. The mainstream media stereotypes African American women as aggressive, unfeminine and too masculine.
Basically Hollywood dehumanizes Black women just like it’s doing to Asian men.
Do Asian Men Like Black Women?:
Because of opposing societal forces, Black women and Asian men are now starting to “color date.” Asian men and black women are meeting through AMBW Facebook groups, meet-ups and dating apps. It’s becoming more and more common of a sight to see a Vietnamese, Korean or a Chinese guy dating a Black girl. And interracial marriage rates between Asian men and Black women are increasing.
AMBW couples are becoming more common in general. There’s even been microscopic movement in Hollywood on the big screen and TV alike! We’ve gone from Jet Li and Aaliyah never kissing in “Romeo Must Die” to John Cho and Gabrielle Union engaged to be married in “Flash Forward.” Although I wouldn’t hold my breath waiting for more substantial positive media representation after decades of the fake media.
But despite that, many men still unfairly discriminate against Black women. Similar to how women say yes to an Asian man 50% less often, men are doing the exact same thing to Black women. And even though Asian men are starting to date Black women, many still don’t see them as potential mates. In fact, many Asian men I coach don’t consider color dating at all.
Of course, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to look for potential partners within your race. But what I teach my students is, regardless of their initial preference, they should be OPEN to color dating at least once. This expands their cultural and dating horizons beyond what they know within Asian social constraints.
I cannot tell you how many times my students were dead set on only dating Asian women. Then once he experiences a beautiful African American woman being romantically attracted to him (assuming he approached her correctly), his confidence and self-esteem absolutely sky rockets. I’ve had more than one Chinese guy start dating black girls after my coaching. You’ve never seen as much Big Dick Energy as an AMBW couple.
The Rise Of AMBW Interracial Relationships And Marriages
People are slowly becoming more open to AMBW interracial relationships. In 2010, only 24% of people surveyed said “people of different races marrying each other is good for society” which has now increased significantly to 39% in 2017.
It’s fantastic to see people are now more open to finding potential mates outside their race. At least with increasing AMBW interracial marriage rates, this shows society is becoming ever so slightly more open to Asian men marrying black women.
And we’re slowly closing the gaps in intermarriage as Asian men with some college are more likely to intermarry. In fact, the rate of intermarriages increases by 19% if one of the romantic partners has at least a bachelor’s degree. And if an Asian man lives in a non-metro area, the likelihood of intermarrying is much higher by 47%.
While the overall intermarriage population amongst newlyweds is low (5.5% are AMBW), many incredible African American women would LOVE to be with you. If you want to date her, it’s your duty to then go out and find her. It’s your job to keep improving yourself mentally, physically, and tactically such that you’re able to navigate the complicated world of interracial dating in order to find the love of your love, whatever race she may be.
It’s your responsibility to find an Asian Dating Coach™ who has been there and done it. One who will keep you accountable until you’re able to attract your dream woman. Or until you achieve your dream dating life, whatever it may look like for you.
Asian Men: Don’t Be Too Narrow Minded
As I’ve previously mentioned on this blog, Asian men are literally being forced out of the dating pool because of the widening gaps in intermarriage. From a purely mathematical perspective, if you want to increase your chances of finding a beautiful girlfriend, you have to open up your dating pool.
By being open to interracial dating, your chances of finding a girlfriend go from less than 1% to over 15%! You can be that Korean, Vietnamese, Chinese guy dating a black girl or any woman of any race.
But if math won’t persuade you (are you really Asian if refuse to believe in math?), here are three reasons why Asian males should DEFINITELY try to date black women at least once:
1) Asian Men Have More In Common With Black Women
This is by far the biggest reason for Asian men dating Black women. I touched on this earlier in this article about the unfairness and ugliness of stereotyping against Asian men to the point it has real world consequences. In fact, 60% of Asian boys have never dated as compared to 40% of White, Black, and Hispanic boys.
If you’re like many Asian males, think about the racism that was thrown your way. How did it make you feel? Maybe it made you feel worthless? Maybe it made you lose hope? Or maybe it made you feel like there was no light at the end of the tunnel? And the list goes on.
Well that’s exactly how (some) black women feel. They feel like no man wants them, not even their own race (like how 54% of American born Asian women won’t marry Asian men). They have a limiting beliefs that hold them back from dating the men they deserve. And mainstream media is constantly lambasting them with stereotypes, just like us Asian males.
Now, I don’t want you to take this the wrong way and think we should date black women out of pity. That’s not what I’m saying at all. All I’m saying is we need to be more open minded because a Black woman, who has experienced many of the same things YOU have faced as an Asian man, is going to have a lot more in common with YOU than someone who has never felt sexualized racism or been denigrated by people of their own race.
Can you really connect, and have deep meaningful conversations, with who isn’t able to understand what it’s like to share your common struggle?
The future love of your life and mother of your child just might very well be a beautiful African American lady. You might find a Black woman you really connect with. You might find a Black woman who is very caring. And you’ll more than likely be able to find a Black woman who doesn’t fit into any of the common stereotypes associated with them. And that’s only if you don’t narrow down your dating options.
Just like we Asian men hate being stereotyped, we Asian men shouldn’t stereotype other women too.
2) Black Women Are Extremely Receptive To Asian Men Approaching Her
In one of life’s great paradoxes (that I personally refer to simply as a dating shit sandwich), when women were asked to rank the attractiveness of men of different races… Asian women ranked Asian men as UGLIER than Black women ranked Asian men.
Literally, Black women think we Asian men are hotter than what Asian women think of us.
And that ties into the point above. Because Black women are the discriminated against by the mainstream media with stereotypes of being the least desirable women in the Western world, they get approached the least. The fake media has made beautiful African American women feel like they’re unattractive, especially when compared to other women.
Unfortunately, Hollywood has made many men believe all the stereotypes about Black women and decide they don’t want anything to do with her. Or many men also find Black women too intimidating to approach and will not even try. Both those factors alone will make a lot of men think “What’s the point of approaching a Black woman? There’s all those stereotypes about Africa American women and she probably doesn’t find Asian men attractive anyways. She doesn’t like me so I won’t like her first.”
But here’s the thing. Black women actually DO find Asian men attractive (as you can see by the graph) even more than Asian women find Asian men attractive. And Asian men ALSO find Black women attractive too according to the chart. We just have to get over these imagined misunderstandings between the two groups.
Here’s the truth after my more than 10 years of dating coaching for Asian men, African American women are MUCH more receptive to your approach as an Asian man. Honestly, it’s probably less stressful and complicated than trying to approach an Asian, White, or Hispanic woman. I’ve seen first hand the look of absolute amazement on my student’s face when he isn’t immediately rejected by a beautiful Black woman.
Now I’m not saying Black women are easy. All I’m saying is your approach will have more significance and meaning because she isn’t being approached by non-Black men and because odds are, she’ll find you attractive. Many times she’ll be a lot friendlier when you approach her because she knows the sting of sexualized racism herself. And this makes an approach feel much more rewarding because the chances of you successfully approaching and asking a Black woman on a date are much higher.
It’s not a question of do Asian men like Black women? Of course, they do. And Black women like Asian men too.
3) Big Dick Energy Men Need A Queen To Match
Seriously, AMBW relationships make the ultimate power couple.
Between the two of us, Asian men and African women face harsh sexualized racism and overall discrimination in society. It’s obvious between the mainstream media and Hollywood, that neither of these powerful societal forces wants us to succeed.
Well fuck them.
Asian males and Black females can relate to each other because of the discrimination we both face. And we can relate to each other at a deeper level as the relationship progresses whether that’s putting culture into your wedding, spiciness into your food, or navigating the complexities of raising a multiracial child who will have to learn how to deal with discrimination one day.
And as fight in a social arena that’s stacked against us, we need someone just as strong to watch our back. Not a wilting flower who will faint at the first sign of trouble or turn into a weak willed, overly privileged, screeching Karen when racism inevitably rears it’s ugly head.
Hard times create strong men, but strong men need a strong woman to watch his back and support him.
How An Asian Dating Coach Can Help
As you can likely see, we need to see the good in everyone and become more open minded when it comes to dating. We need to give everyone a chance to prove themselves. The good news is many Asian men do want to date outside their race, but they often have certain limiting beliefs holding them back from doing so. Luckily an Asian Dating Coach like myself can help break them.
At the end of the day, the media does not help us and there’s nothing we can do about that. But what we can control is how we respond to it. We can either believe everything we see on TV and let it get to us. Or we can go out there, take action, and become the best version of ourselves and date a wide variety of women.
You see, when you date outside your race you’ll learn so much about romance and relationships. At the end of the day, qualities like confidence and the ability to lead attract all women. But with every race, there are slight nuances. And when you’ve dated women from many different races, you’ll learn what they are. You’ll become more experienced in the ways of women which makes you all that much more sexier of a man.
And not only that, you’ll get a ton more opportunities in the dating world. You’ll become much more comfortable with of other people (and believe me others do pick up on that because you’ll emanate a certain “energy”). But most importantly, you’ll increase your chances of finding the right woman for you. Much more than if you only stuck to what you know, which for most Asian men is only other Asian women.
Without getting too far off topic, I don’t want to make it seem like Black women are easy, they’re not. It’s just that we have so much more in common that Asian men dating Black women will seem like second nature to you. Why miss out on opportunities in the dating market and let a narrow mindset hold you back? Why not be that unique Indian, Vietnamese, Korean, Thai or Chinese guy dating a Black girl? There are plenty of Black women who you could be in a relationship with right now so why not go out and find them?
And this doesn’t just apply to Black women. It applies to all women including white women, Hispanic women and more. In future articles, I’ll go over how Asian men can get a Latina or White Girlfriend as well.