If you grew up in the Western world, you might have this niggling feeling that maybe no one likes Asian guys. Maybe you’re familiar with how it feels when women (even Asian women!) say they aren’t attracted to Asian men and won’t date.

Unfortunately, you’re not the only Asian-American man experiencing this. Did you know that more than 90% of non-Asian women declared they would not desire a romantic relationship with an Asian man? So it’s no wonder it might seem no one likes Asian guys.

Sadly, the media is primarily to blame in this situation. In the past, people perceived Asian males as competitors for White American women and jobs. After then, the media has done everything in its power to denigrate Asian men. Sadly, it is effective. Asian men are the least desirable males in the Western world today, valued on par with Black women in terms of attractiveness.

Asian men are stereotyped as being submissive, effeminate, unattractive, and weak. Ironically, Asian ladies are highly desirable despite many of the characteristics that make Asian men unattractive. Many men find Asian women to be just as appealing as White women, if not more so. Therefore, it should come as no surprise that Asian women are significantly more likely than Asian males to date someone of a different race.

The Desexualization Of Asian Men Has A Long History, and Here’s Why

Asian men are generally perceived as someone being unattractive, small, weak, feminine, and submissive. And in the cis, heteronormative, white male patriarchy of the United States and Anglosphere, those traits are considered an anathema in men. And that’s why no one likes Asian guys because we directly oppose white toxic masculinity.

Ironically, Asian ladies are highly desirable despite many of the characteristics that make Asian men unattractive. When compared to White women, many men find Asian women to be equally as appealing, if not more so. Therefore it should come as no surprise that Asian women are far more likely than Asian males to date someone of a different race.

Believe it or not, White males harbor deep insecurities about Asian men’s manhood. From the building of transcontinental railroads to anti-miscegenation laws that forbade Asian men from marrying their precious Caucasian women, Asian men threaten the American male hierarchy.

Chinese railroad workers at the time were both respected and despised as men. Chinese males were expected to put in additional hours at lower pay. Naturally, this resulted in a decline in the economic worth of Chinese masculinity. However, despite this, White people’s anxiety over Chinese masculinity grew to the point that no only was it illegal for a white women to marry an Asian man, but she could even lose her American citizenship!

Hollywood Makes Sure No One Likes Asian Guys

Therefore, White media has done everything it can to devalue Asian men ever since and make sure no one likes Asian guys. Asian males will always be portrayed in the media as effeminate, frail, and lacking in self-assurance. And to brainwash everyone, they all employed the same marketing strategies. Right present, discrimination against Asian males has reached the stage where many people stereotype them without even recognizing it.

You only need to switch on your TV to see some type of prejudice towards Asian guys in a matter of minutes. even in the case of Asian women. It’s mostly extremely subtle. (Example: Hollywood frequently casts Asian males as characters who are unable to punch their way out of wet paper bags.) Additionally, celebrities like Arianna Grande have significantly more influence than well-known Asian women especially when it comes to Asian women.

At worst, many people have flat-out said on national TV “I’ll never date Asian men because they’re nerdy” or whatever it may be. Unfortunately, this is how stereotypes associated with Asian men become normalized. See, Americans on average watch ridiculous amounts of TV. They do it for many hours a day and many days a week. And that is how indoctrination occurs. That’s how people buy into all the cultural stereotypes as well as the sexual stereotypes associated with Asian men. And that’s how all those unflattering stereotypes depicting Asian men in general are formed.

It’s not all bad news, either. Fortunately, most of the preconceived notions about Asian males are unfounded. At best, they are overstated. To be fair, Asian males do have certain undesirable characteristics (at least in the Western world). But every other race also does. No one is aware of it since we simply don’t hear about it in the media.

Why Asian Guys Are Actually On A Roll Today

Asian males are starting to gain international mass appeal including white, black, and Hispanic women. So it’s no longer strictly true that no one likes Asian guys as there’s been a slight increase in Hollywood movies including Asian males as masculine. And more music genres, like K-pop, that highlight attractive Asian guys, are becoming much more popular globally. Consequently, the media are giving them more attention.

Additionally, Asian guys have a reputation for being highly diligent workers. They’ve always had high-paying occupations and will continue to do so. They have excellent financial judgment and are financially comfortable. Many people are unaware of the numerous appealing features that Asian men possess. Certain exceptions do exist, and not all Asian men are like that. But generally speaking, this is true.

On top of this, interracial dating between Asian men and non-Asian women is becoming more common. And people are starting to drift away from the media which is fantastic news for Asian men. Of course, Asian men stereotypes do exist and they likely won’t ever disappear. But it is great to see women becoming more open-minded and starting to give Asian men a chance. 

The Differences Between Dating An Asian Guy VS A Caucasian Guy

Asian men are more likely to care for others. His ancestors taught him the “check motion” from the dawn of time. A habit formed over many years while observing his parents challenge their rivals to see who gets the check first at restaurants. Here, white men are much more likely to going Dutch. Since they come from a more “equal” society, they frequently let the lady pay.

“The likelihood of Asian men living with their parents till marriage is significantly higher. And the reason for this is that they place a lot greater value on family and are expected to care for their parents while sharing a home. Living together with a romantic partner prior to marriage is often frowned upon for Asian males as well. So they typically wait till after marriage before moving out.”

Contrary to popular belief, Asian men are not more polite. Since everyone differs, there isn’t a person who is more courteous than another. For instance, ‘taking care’ of those around them is highly valued in traditional Asian culture. It is quite disrespectful to do things like to serve yourself first at a meal and sit at the dinner table before an Asian person. But that is regarded as completely normal for a White or Caucasian person. This is a level playing field because there are so many other cultural distinctions among numerous ethnicities.

“This in a way ties to the second anecdote and Asian guys do seek their parents approval. Of course Caucasian men do it as well, as men from other races. But Asian men are more likely to chase a career that will make their parents proud whereas a Caucasian male might chase a career to fulfill themselves.“

There is a widespread misconception that Asian males are effeminate and don’t make the first move which contribute to why no one likes Asian guys. The fact is that Asian men engage in conversation, but it takes them longer to express their sentiments. Asian men’s parents instill the belief that the partner they choose for dating must also be the one they marry. And if they do go on dates, they are mocked. Asian guys are also instructed that they must already be successful before meeting someone. And all of this together explains why it takes them longer to act.

On the other hand, Caucasian males are advised to initially meet a lot of individuals. And when they find the right one, get married, and start a family, that’s when they consider things like finances and a long term relationship.

So Who Likes Asian Men?

I’m sure this is the million-dollar question on many Asian’s male’s minds. And many of you might be wondering “If no one likes Asian guys, then who is going to date me?” Or Maybe “Do White girls like me?” Or “Do Latinas like me?” Or “Do Black girls like Asian guys?” Or maybe “Do Asian women like me?”

And I get it. Asian guys are frequently depicted in the media as unattractive. As weak. As someone, no woman would want to be with. Of course, as mentioned above, this is slowly changing. But here’s the thing. Everything the media says is true, only if you allow it to be.

Yes, that’s right. The media can’t tell you you’re unattractive without your consent. They can’t tell you what to think without your consent. This sounds woo woo but your thoughts dictate your actions. So if you let the media get in your head and make you think you’re unattractive, you will do things that communicate all the ugly traits. 

The truth is that many women would adore dating Asian men. The answer to this question consists of two parts. The first part: In general, Asian males will appeal to women who are looking for long-term companions. They are thought to have well-paying jobs and earn an average of incredibly high money since they are often well-educated. Additionally, they make excellent family men who are not prone to cheat. They are therefore excellent long-term spouses, to put it simply.

The second part of this question is that Asian men can attract any woman if they display all the right qualities. Yes, that’s correct. See, it doesn’t matter how the media depicts Asian men. That’s irrelevant. Now I get that the media has a huge impact on how people perceive Asian men. In fact, many women have bought into it, and unfortunately has left Asian men much less likely to be in a romantic involvement with a partner. 

But here’s the thing. There are certain traits that attract all women, and a perfect example is confidence. Now you might be wondering “What does confidence even mean?” Take an Asian man for example. If he owns himself 100%, is proud of his upbringing and culture, his career. If he owns his interests even though they might not be popular in the Western world. In addition, he is a self-assured Asian man who is unafraid of attractive women. Now of course there are many other ways to define confidence, but that’s just an example to illustrate what confidence looks like.

So in a nutshell, if you’re able to present those traits that women find attractive in men, you can date women of any race. Regardless of your ethnicity, what you look like, and your interests, it doesn’t matter.

Don’t believe me? Take a look at me, my coaches, and my students. We’re all Asian so on the outside, you might think women don’t want us. But because we communicate all those attractive traits, it’s like the women don’t even notice our ethnicity. We still get the women even though the media loves to bring us down.

Ways You Can Level The Playing Field As An Asian Male When Dating

Now you might be wondering “Ok great, I can date any woman if I communicate all those attractive traits. But how do I start?” I actually go into more depth about this in another article but for now, here’s what you need to know.

1. Don’t Try To Look More “Alpha” or To Look More “White.” Don’t dye your hair blonde and get blue contacts to try to look more White. Don’t get tattoos (unless they actually mean something to you) all over your body to try to look badass. In a nutshell, don’t do things to try to be someone you’re not. Women can pick up on the fact that guys are trying too hard to cover up their insecurities, and pretending to be someone they’re not.
2. Be The Best Version Of Yourself. Now, this point might contradict the point above. Of course, you don’t want to try too hard, but at the same time, you want to be the best version of yourself. How do you do this? Get involved in sports and exercise. Go to the gym. You can dress better. Get a fresh haircut. You can go out, involved in activities, and meet other people. You could advance in your career. In simplest terms, you want to keep busy and do things that make you feel better.
3. Ignore The Negative Media. While you can’t change your genetics and you can’t control how the media chooses to portray Asian men as, but you are in full control of yourself. You’re in full control of how you choose to respond to the media. And you’re in full control of the actions you take to better yourself every day. Don’t digest TV, social media and other sources of influence that would demean your self-confidence.
4. Find Yourself An Asian Dating Coach. Why? Because Asian men dating problems are unique in the Western world. See, many dating instructors are very good and know what they’re doing. But many of them already have a lot of things going on for them. Many of them are White or Black. Many are over 6′ tall. And many of them are naturally charismatic people. So they don’t have as many challenges to overcome and therefore, might not understand how to overcome them. On the other hand, I have next to no ‘attractive traits’. (At least in the Western world). I’ve had to fight tooth and nail to achieve the dating life I’ve always wanted. And I can empathize with Asian men and their dating issues. I can empathize with Asian men when they tell me their self-confidence is low. I’ve been through all this and overcome them all. And I’ve taught thousands of Asian men to do the same thing. 

So if I can do it. If my coaches can do it. And if my students can do it, there’s no reason why you can’t. There’s no reason why you can’t be the type of man women really want to be with. But the onus is on you to take action.

So are you going to be like most Asian men and settle for an average dating life, or worse, no dating life? Or are you going to use all the seeming disadvantages as fuel, to galvanize your game and prove to yourself you can attract women who make most men droll?

If you choose the later, make sure to share this article with your friends and check out this page if you want to find out more about my programs.

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